The Standard, Not the Exception

The Standard, Not the Exception

I was watching a TV show the other day where a character was discussing how horrible his marriage had been. He started by commenting on how he and his ex-wife had never seen eye to eye, and he proceeded to list out a whole plethora of reasons why marriage itself was a trap made by the devil. This made me think about the state of marriage in America today. This isn’t a blog about same-sex marriage, so don’t get all flustered up quite yet. Several questions came to my mind that too me some fairly serious thinking to answer. I’d like to discuss this so-called “trap” today and explain why we as Christians are not doing our jobs as well as we should.

I’m sure everyone has heard the sad statistic that somewhere around fifty percent of current marriages end in divorce. It blows my mind that people might be looking at my, or their own, marriage and wondering which side of the fence it will end up on. I don’t want to get too deep into the Biblical stance on divorce, because I don’t think that’s the issue. I think that our focus as individuals is the problem.  Now before you people who aren’t married yet surf to another site, let me assure you that this issue extends beyond the marital unit.

I have distilled my original three or four questions down to one main question. If Christian couples are made with God’s will in mind and sustained under God’s will, why are so many failing? I would like to give two reasons. The first is that Christians make selfish decisions on who to marry. The second is that Christian couples leave behind God’s will once married.

When the bond of matrimony is entered, vows are made to each other in the sight of God. The reason God presides over this in a spiritual manner is because He came up with the idea to begin with. Marriage is a gift from God to us. And since He is the originator, He should also be the motivator. If we decide on our own behalf that we should marry someone, it is not a given fact that God agrees. God wants us to be generally pleased, but He does want us to act outside of His plan for our lives. It is no small wonder that so many people within the church fall prey to the same problems that non-Christians do.  If we make our own decisions on partners just like a non-Christian would, is it so strange that the outcome is the same?

So let us say that we have prayerfully sought God’s will, and He has lead us to the person He wants us to marry. His job doesn’t end there. God should not leave the picture just because you now have another person with whom to decide. Two heads are not always better than one. God should still have the final say in anything we do as a couple. If we leave Him behind, we also leave behind the wisdom, patience, strength, and fortitude that He offers to us. These things are essential to lasting marriage relationships. We as humans are incapable of making correct decisions all the time with no guidance. This leads down the same road mentioned before.

What then is my responsibility as a Christian married under God’s will and in a Godly relationship? The answer is simple. Live out loud. Loving, healthy, and Christ-centered homes should be the standard amongst married couples and not the exception. We have to work to be living examples of what God can do with the lives of two people joined in His presence.  This doesn’t mean that we should act as if nothing ever goes wrong, we never fight or disagree, and it is always easy. It does mean that we should be open with these things and show other people how God can fix any situation or heal any wound when both partners in a marriage are truly devoted to Him and each other.

I will leave you with a verse, as always, but I would like you to look at it in a way that you might not have before. Focus on the number of people mentioned at the beginning. Then think of the verse’s application to marriage.

Matthew 18:20- For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.